A cross section of marriage professionals in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), on Friday, said that lack of dedication was the leading cause of divorce among couples in Nigeria.
The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that divorce is known as the legal dissolution of a marriage between two people by a court or other competent body.
Dr Rose Chukwuma, Psychologist, Marriage Counsellor, said that couples always give various reasons for the dissolution of their marriages and they boil down to lack of dedication on the part of one or both spouses.
“People go into marriage and don’t realise the level of hard work required to make it succeed.
“When my clients come here for counselling as an attempt to save their marriage, I ask them what the problem is and they give a list of issues.
“It’s either someone had an extramarital affair, someone isn’t paying attention to the spouse, the couple is finding it hard to spend as much time together or someone feels like they are carrying the burden of the marriage alone.
“All these problems boil down to dedication which is a fundamental requirement, alongside trust, for a successful marriage,” she said.
Pastor Francis Ajisafe, a Pastor of the Redeemed Christian Church, said that spouses had to invest in their marriages by remembering to be dedicated to each other and always pray for the strength to do so.
“I always say marriage is not a bed of roses.
“I believe that the energy you put into it will yield the condition that surfaces.
“There are temptations around us every day and to overcome those temptations, we have to be disciplined and prayerful but we also have to make the extra effort to make it easier for our spouses to stand against temptation.
“The major complaint I heard from couples in my congregation is that their spouse are no longer dedicated to them or committed to the marriage.
“Once you decide to walk down that isle, you have to bear in mind that the wellbeing of your marriage comes first and everything else is secondary.
“Everyone needs to understand that they have to do whatever it takes to please their spouse and keep their spouse interested in them so as to prevent the partner from straying.
“I’m not saying that this is a good excuse to defile ones marriage but the effort made is what dedication is all about,” Ajisafe said.
Femi Ladapo, a Civil Servant, told NAN that from his personal experience, dedication and patience were key factors to sustaining any marriage.
“I believe that a couple has to be committed and dedicated to each other in order to make their marriage strong.
“I’m sure that when one uses the term “dedication” or “commitment”, the mind goes to an individual not cheating on their spouse but I see it to be that commitment you make to yourself to do everything needed to make your marriage to succeed which includes, maintaining yourself.
“I am currently married but I had gone through a divorce once and my ex-wife was the love of my life but I left her because she failed to be dedicated.
“I was very much in-love with her and we got married quickly but a few months into it, she lost herself and didn’t make the effort to maintain the woman I fell in love with.
“I know it sounds like an excuse, but I always do everything for her and she became too comfortable and didn’t show appreciation or make the extra effort to keep our home together.
“I spoke to friends and family for help and I was made to understand that we had rushed into the marriage without carefully studying each other to know our weaknesses.
“Whenever I complained to my ex-wife about her behaviour, she would speak to me rudely and so I decided to stop helping out in the home but then, she began nagging on me constantly.
“I just had to call it quits when I couldn’t take it any longer and that was due to lack of dedication on her part,” Ladapo said.
Chisom Ifejiofor, a Divorce Attorney, however seemed to disagree with the ideology that dedication was the major reason for divorces and insisted that finance was the cause.
“I don’t think that commitment is the major reason because as a divorce attorney, I have seen men and women go beyond measures to fix their marriage or handful on even when they are fully aware of their partners infidelity.
“Money however, is the break even factor that will end a marriage because that is what will sustain the individuals in question.
“Major marital problems boil down to finance either directly or indirectly.
“Most cases of divorce are filed by women and you see reason like; the husband is no longer providing for the family, he is spending on unknown things, he doesn’t have my time anymore and so on.
“The lady complaint of her husband not having her time most likely is referring to him no longer buying her gifts or taking her out which does require money.
“Even the women who cheat on their husbands are most times lured by some men, who gave her more attention than her husband by spending money on her.
“In such a situation, people will say the cause of the divorce was the infidelity or lack of commitment by the wife but the root here is clearly the finances that were used to purchase her emotions in the first place.”